Welcome. If you're reading this you've either just been approved or you're poking around trying to decide if this is somewhere worth your time. Either way, this post covers everything you need to know about what this place is, what it isn't, and how it operates.
What This Is
Reality in Exile is a personal site with a community layer. The blog is the heart of it, writing about tech, self-hosting, music, history, philosophy, retro computing, the small web, and whatever else demands to be written about. This forum is the back porch. A place for people who read something and want to keep the conversation going, or who just want a quiet corner of the internet that isn't trying to sell them something or harvest their attention.
The community here is small by design and will stay that way. Registration is approval-based. That's not gatekeeping for its own sake, it's the difference between a place that feels like somewhere and a place that feels like everywhere.
If you want the longer version of how this site came to exist, the origin post on the blog covers it: https://realityinexile.com/blog
No Ads. No Tracking. Full Stop.
This site does not run ads. It does not use analytics platforms that phone home. It does not embed third-party scripts, tracking pixels, or anything else designed to follow you around the internet. No Google Analytics. No Facebook anything. No cookie banners, because there are no cookies that require a banner.
This isn't a policy subject to revision if the site ever needs to "monetize." It's a design decision baked into what this place is. The moment this site starts treating visitors as inventory, it has become the thing it was built to avoid.
If you ever notice something loading that shouldn't be, a third-party script, an external resource, anything that looks out of place, please flag it in the Board Room. That would be a bug, not a feature.
A Few Other Things Worth Knowing
humans.txt - If you're the kind of person who checks these, you'll find one at: https://realityinexile.com/humans.txt
It's a small web tradition. A plain text file that says something about the people behind a site, written for humans rather than crawlers. Worth reading if you like knowing who built the thing you're using.
/now - A regularly updated page about what's currently occupying my attention. Books, projects, music, ideas in progress. No dates, no pressure, just a snapshot of where things stand at a given moment. Find it at: https://realityinexile.com/now
Code of Conduct
Short version:
be a person, not a persona.
Longer version:
Talk like you mean it. This isn't a place for drive-by hot takes or performative outrage. If you have an opinion, back it up. If you're wrong about something, say so. Intellectual honesty is the price of admission.
Disagree well. Disagreement is fine. Good, even. The goal is to think better, not to win. Attack the argument, not the person making it.
No spam, no self-promotion for its own sake. If you built something relevant and want to share it, that's fine, context makes the difference. A post that exists purely to drive traffic somewhere else is not a contribution.
No bigotry. Racism, sexism, homophobia, and their relatives have no place here. This doesn't need elaboration.
Stay on the side of curiosity. The boards here cover a range of topics and the people here will have different backgrounds and levels of expertise. Ask questions. Share what you know. Don't make people feel stupid for not knowing something you know.
Lurking is fine, but participation is better. You don't have to post constantly. But if you were approved to be here it's because you seemed like someone who had something to contribute. We'd like to hear it.
The moderator's word is final, but it won't be arbitrary. If something gets removed or a conversation gets closed, there will be a reason. If you think a call was wrong, bring it up in the Board Room like an adult.
A Note on Pace
This forum moves slowly. That is not a problem to be solved. A slow forum where people write things worth reading is better than a fast forum full of noise. Don't feel pressure to check in constantly or respond immediately. Good conversations don't expire.
Questions?
Post them in the Board Room or reach out directly. Glad you're here.